This is what we called life.

My mom was the person I trust most and place for me to feel safe and sound. Second part of my personality quite true. I can be more sweet with person I truly care. I doesnt get along with people easily and I kinda unpredictable. I do like friend with alot of peolpe but I have a truly few closest, very closest friend and I love and care for them. When I want to start to know someone, I do care of my way to befriends with people. Strong in a relationship? I dont have any comment because I do not like to judge my own life of relationship. I am moving forward person because I like, its not like but I do make mistake and learn from it. Everyone do the same thing right? and I struggle too much to settle things down. Emotionally overload person.

What alif said about me kinda real. It makes me wonder.

I am not such a good keeper. Imma striker.

I REALLY MISS THOSE DAY.

I really am.

Really miss having fune with those people.

Yeah when I say fun, is really mean some awesome kick-ass's time.

Some friend doesnt stay too long.

I told ya, Im not such a good keeper.

Keeper of too many friend.

Mr and Mrs Goodie. Bweh.

Okay now only i have something story to tell about.

Yesterday i have been starving like hell and plus bored to death untill i can watched and repeated 3 movie again and again. Haha how lame it is. As always, i updated my tumblr and so on, doing some sight-seeing on website and put my ym status : Lapaaa =.=
Suddenly Dola buzzed me and asked me if wanted to join him going to gadek. At first i feel like dont want to go anywhere because to lazy to get out from this house and my tummy were growling. Then he said lets go grab some food and then only we can go to gadek.

Huh i feel so alive!

So we went to Mcd at Ayer Keroh and saw Azyan with others were on their way to holiday's vacation, perhaps. After done with the eating, we straight away to gadek. I cant stand too long inside the hot pool. About 2 hours we get ready to go back, but we stop by at this one stall to have a breakfast.
This is, here what really i want to talk about. Dola asked Hakim to join breakfast with us. I thought when he knew that im with Dola, he wouldnt want to join but no, he came. Okay awkward. He doesnt speak with me one word, even doesnt bother to say "HI" to me. How rude is that. How do you feel when one of your closest friend, the one you had known since you were in high school does not look and talk with you and act like he doesnt know you? I feel terribly sad. It just because i had said something that might be make him feel mad at me and now he dont want to talk with me again. Nice. Hey he doesnt bother to look at me okay! Urgh!
But somehow i thought its a some sort of revenge on you. What you feel now is what i had felt, man. So sucked it up like a man please. We were 20 now! If you want to feel mad at me, please carry on because i dont care anymore. I'll forgiving you as always. This is not how you treat your friend. Thats what you get. Hey do you ever hear this quote "what goes around comes around". I bet you do. And i dont need to explain anything, again.

We paid for our breakfast then shuuuuv we went back. Now im here writing this emotionally bullshit feeling. Urgh. Fool pig, you cunt, Im sleepy. Night night. Its 9.12 in the morning and now i want to sleep? What such an asshole am i huh?

1 week to go.

Okay no mood for writing, for now. Being such a lazy asshole. In everything.


And i have been checking this blog, and there were some grammar mistake, or a load. Bwehehe IMMA SORRY. IMMA SOGGY.
Woo that not sound quite right? is it? Foo'!


Anyways this blog wasn't an open blog actually. Nothing interesting. Toddle-loo.

PartyGirlDoubleZ? What the fuck?

All the crazy shit I did tonight.
Those will be the best memories.
I just wanna let it go for the night.
That would be the best therapy for me.

The day before yesterday was Jazmine's birthday party at Areena Deluxe Hotel. Having fun like hell and we sleep over there, just Me Kay Afiq Helmi Dayat and Vincent. Helmi annoyed like seriously, thought that he would be sleeping like 5 6 hours since he was like hyper-active, making jokes, disturbing people but he just slept like 2 hours and then he the first person woke up and makes a noise. Ergh! but i admit it, HE A FUN PERSON TO HANG OUT WITH :) enough about Helmi gedik haha. Then Afiq woke me up at 11 because we have to check out at 12. Took a bath and packing then straight away back to bbp. I had like 2 hours rest before get ready for some exhibition for HIV at Dataran Pahlawan from 3pm till 10pm. Argh so restless but i still can going through without any problem. Arrived at bbp like 10 something and went to Gulf with Dila Vincent and Dayat, had my dinner. Then suddenly Hakim text me and ask me something. Haha and then we went to pure, with Kay as well. Its just like spontaneous plan. We thought, if we had like tired and restless day ever, we should done as hell. Thats why we went to pure. At pure as usual, this one part that pure had this competition thingy between girls, so Me and Kay went to besides the dance floor and watched. Suddenly i saw someone and i was like WTF. He's the one. He's soooo cute, i dont know whether he's a malaysian, indonesian, or what untill just now i found his facebook. His name like fucking weird. Then i know now the girl that always with him were his girlfriend. DAMN! what a shame. Im just saying that i like him. Im not kinda into him or what.

Haih what the fuck im trying to tell here. So boring. Because im bored right now and tired.

I really dont realize untill someone said something. 

I miss you, so.

I HAVE BEEN THINKING TOO MUCH AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE.
I'VE BEEN DISTURBED LATELY.

Lie to everyone but friend.

My hand is getting better. and i dont know for how long im gonna be like this. its not like im having fun doing this but its already in me, for somehow im wanted to let my emotions out. and i dont like people to label me as a mentally-pyscho-girl. fuck you. you just dont know what the hell im going through since i was kid. but however i just love enjoying my life, especially with my craziest friend.

Oh wait wait. hmm i just dont know what to say, ever feel like "hey why are you so fucking hypocrite, dude?". okay its a good thing you had to lie, maybe because you dont want people to say something bad. but please what so fucking hard to tell something truth. im just too tired to solve a fucking riddle! actually i dont really bother at all but once people said, I JUST FUCKING PISSED OFF. everyone had a life. you had a hard one, tough. so do i. but its not a same, its really not fucking same at all. im not telling my issue-life because its not like, i dont trust you or what, i just hate to tell people about my fucking pathetic life, but yours were different. okay let me say something, you can just come clean. we as a friend just wanna help.

Im not insulting your life. But im saying here because i do care about you.